The Christian Mind!

The Christian mind in action.

According to the Apostle John, some fellow name Jesus died for your sins - what ever those are.

The message from John 3;16 is clear. All you have to do is "BELIEVE" that he sacrificed himself for you, follow his teachings, and spread the concept of his sacrifice to others, and your spirit, - again, what ever that is, - will pass into some other supernatural existence when you die.

Pending the environment, music, lighting, and charisma of the messenger, you will know John 3;16 is true when you have an odd feeling in you sphincter and your skin has goose bumps like the kid on "The Sixth Sense." This is the supposed presence of the "Holy Spirit."

Once you become aware of the conceptual Jesus, "Poof, " Magic! You are a Christian. Welcome to the kingdom club. You have a new spirit inside of you that is eternal. By divine right, this "born again" spirit makes you superior to those who are lost. You are now an adopted member of some supreme beings chosen family.

The walk of a Christian is simple!

Buy an injection molded / nickel plated fish for the back of your SUV. Vote republican. Pray for and curse democrats at the same time. Pity the bum on the street corner. Smile and shake hands at some congregation. Gays and immigrants are taboo. Support your troops. Jesus loves you. Ask yourself what he would do occasionally. Hate the liberal media.

You don't have to quote scripture. You don't even need to read the bible. After all, except for John 3:16 - the philosophical insurance policy of Christianity, the rest is open to interpretation.

The best part of Christianity is you don't have to "sacrifice" anything. You can even keep those small dirty little things you do that you would never admit doing to anyone else. Since this "all knowing" God knows your faults and weaknesses, he will accept you as you are, even if you never change or grow worse. You can correct your behavior if you want or just fake it like everyone else. Worst case scenario, you might have to endure a slight "emotional struggle."

Ultimately, when you attach John 3;16 to any whim, wish, or slight fancy, your dreams will come true.

Once practicing Christianity, just follow the warm smell of the heard. Do what they do. Think like they think. Gossip like they gossip. Judge like they judge. Conform.

Jesus Christ in a Chicken Basket.....where do I sign up for this philosophical lobotomy?


Leonidas is a cruel leader.
He makes you stand on your own feet.
I, on the other hand, am kind.
All I ask is that you kneel.

Xerxes (The 300)